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Monday 18th February 2008.

" Have you seen her "...I once made a whole cassette of this one song,played endlessly in any machine that would absorb,until the tape was that stretched not even seagulls would stare away the day on such thinness.Since then much time has flowed under the bridge,many Poo sticks have been thrown most appeared to sail away journeying ever onwards free from any baggage attached to life's wanderings,no care,no regrets,a tiny piece of oneself being released,for the best, i tell myself each time i stand on the bridge to throw some Poo sticks, sometimes i stand as an adult, sometimes as a child the passers by walking dogs glance the embarrassment of being caught has long gone advancing age gives fuzzy warmness a spiffy, oh well sod it.
The fascination of watching running water never fails to calm such thoughts of where the missing Poo sticks might have trundled,bringing on that Ho-Hum...attitude life must advance in some form some day,maybe today is the time,perhaps not.
I played the song tonight just to see,if what i thought then would still hold the field,would still drift in the melancholy gloom i ate,slept,cursed, wept over,perhaps i should have tonight played back to back,another song which came later..Human League's Louise..i think it is the line about not forgetting or wanting to forget that appeals as the song could possibly drift in and out of " Have you seen her ".
Today under the milky sunshine i journeyed to Ashton-Under-Lyne to one of those complex stores that shred the mind into vacuumed voyeurism not even a pink kamikaze could sway the crimson tide to recede,the building so garish you wonder how planning permission was ever given.Such newness takes the mind away from the past,it is only as i left to amber in the sunshine through the cracked streets full of whispering ghosts,boarded up pubs,buildings that should have been there,but have become lost Poo sticks,childishly i thought how easy it is to build new complex shops, offices,yet not affordable housing for the young....each yard taken,each sight scary brought in some memory of those heady days of youth when i thought,not so much i knew it all about life,but certain i had found the one soul to walk in the rain while eating a take-away consisting of half chips,half rice, with curry sauce.
I passed that Chinese chip shop this afternoon,a small chinese girl no bigger than half a doors height was drinking from a coke can with a straw the bold redness of the can struck out,as if lightening flashing through the glass window past the sea of surrounding old green paint, perhaps not been painted since i once pushed open the door..we stared at each other for that moment as children can do,a glance of nothingness but the can in her hand and my mind full of old memories gathered in old records.." Have you seen her " still feels punch drunk,still digs deep..should i ever sit in that rocking chair a glass of chardonnay would perhaps be a fitting end without slipping into the dark sea of regrets.

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( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
fuzzilla
Feb. 18th, 2008 11:27 pm (UTC)
You mean that doo-wop song? "Oh, I see her face everywhere I go, on the street, and even at the picture show...have you seen her? Tell me, have you seen her..."
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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bichoose
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