The time is 5.19am...i am sat here with my mind slowly coming on stream,the fits and fobs as the brain fluid begins to bubble into some form of haphazard order,is the only competition the ticking clocks in the room have,not even the metal and plastic road hogs have begun to move.I am tempted to turn on the cricket live from Australia,however since we are doing so bad,my fingers refrain from pushing the on button on my tiny wireless.
Instead one of the greatest demons of my life is pushing hard to laugh out loud,teasing me for my chastity and tempting me to break chastity by masturbating while sat here thinking about my mistress who has ordered such, as a term in which to show my devotion to her,and to thank her for taking me under her spell,it is not easy the screaming cock is loud and getting louder,it is not so much the orgasm,the final urmph..the dribble that says it is all over, that final explosion which such as i live for.
No it is the touch and comfort driving up this warm feeling that usurps the body taking over the mind and pushing out other interfering demons who have much more to tell and whisper in the ear.Then there are those who sit proudly cocks on show and daring i to reach over and slip into the mouth and feast on such dreams.
It is my opiate, at one time i was ashamed,by such a driving force and did wonder where this urge was planted to grow not unlike...day of the triffids...however now at this age it has become part of me which will not retreat and have begun to live happily with it and most important enjoy with out that guilty feeling that used to flow through once the sperm had shot to where ever in youth.