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Friday 12th January 2007.

Today the rain never fell across my shoulders,nor filled my boots with lost souls tears.The wind did not howl in my ear nor ruffle the last few strands of hair on my head.I cruised through the work of the day on friday auto pilot.Only by stepping out side this control function did i think that i was alive.Out side 1984...the world does indeed look well the sky multi coloured grey looked far better than the cattle shed in animal farm.Mother nature is also confused and i cannot see a settlement for some time,maybe never,i have found daffodils up and opened,they do not look well in fact weak semi able to stand never mind wave in the wind,however in the coming years this will perhaps change and daff's in January will become the norm.The wheel of the world never stops however hard i try to stand still and block the motion if only for a few small moments.Accepting this can be hard for me..the thought that future generations cannot see the same sights,smell as i seams so sad.However the big question do they really want to and slowly i can see my old drinking buddy was right they really do not give a flying fuck and it is only old romantic's like myself who dwell on such emotions.
Somehow i really miss him all those times we used to sink slowly down the couch in the working mans club giggling away through the haze of empty pint pots.The worst in all this are the times we could not make it,the times we said plenty of time maybe next week and thus there is no next week at all,and tomorrow is saturday the one night we could both relax....i think maybe i will up grade soon and then i can put up some piccy's he luved cyber space so much that it might seem fitting.The other regret about our relationship i nearly on his request but thought to near family..and so i move on and the auto pilot sinks once more into the chasm.
Picking up the last load tonight,as i waited whilst the post girls rushed and puffed,in walked the cleaner a body big and majestic my mind floated over the grey t-shirt and watched every movement thinking gosh if only i could reach out and call someone " der yer fancy a date " but in Minnesota it is snowing and as i watched this grey t-shirt bend and the mass gently fall i wondered how many snow flakes they would catch unskinned and thought Cunt....arrhhh well maybe one day..if the bitch works her magic....



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