bichoose (bichoose) wrote,

Tuesday 30th January 2007.

I have sunk once more into the melancholy sadness found amongst the words, Forlorn Hope Regiment no doubt had i been a soldier during the English Civil War i would have probably been in the front rank,not to be beaten by flying lead simply the sombre grey sky would have haunted me to the thrust of ancient gargoyles pouring forth the pitter patter,in constant rain drops.I would have hung on dearly to the colours and no doubt been trodden in by hungry hooves during some wild charge still looking for the horizon that would tell me warmth and sunshine still existed for us mere peasants.I remember once in youth when the hair on my head wandered freely long and massed enough to pass for a girl; how i smile at that, this moment now and sigh.Then i walked home in the rain without my hood up and feeling the drizzle gather in my curls and drip a circus of thoughts until i arrived home tired but elated,i ask my self now as that moment finds away of arriving in my thoughts quite often..was i still madly in love then..was it even love..the world then looked so daunting yet so beautiful full of hope and wonder was going to do..!!! Yet the rain at this moment scuffs my boots to a sodden weariness in ranks beyond, so thick i cannot see forward from my regimental colours.
Even though i remain in the front rank still looking for the lost horizon and more so than any other time in my life feel as if i am fighting a rear guard action that will never end ever,each time i arrive at the crest the horizon lies beyond, the hand held above the eyes with a stare which tells all.I even forced myself to ride the silver steel bus last week to keep in touch with my nerves to keep the powder and shot dry even my companions Katee and dribble-cock are flaccid, the oyster will not release the pearl or i yet to find the key which slipped from my grasp perhaps if i hold the colours tightly the roaring wind will cease to tease the cannonade booming in my head from glimpses found in tossed up time wasters, all will be well....

  • Thursday 12th May 2022.

    I think i need to poke my head out of the front door smell the coffee, hold my hand out to feel as if it is raining them pull on my busted stockings…

  • Monday 9th May 2022.

    Today i have started my second week without a reminder to pull on my blue uniform...i do not miss it..or am i lying to myself, perhaps... i do not…

  • Tuesday 3rd May 2022.

    I no longer drive one of these.... My blue uniform is now gathered up, old bits, new bits, consisting of shirts, high viz vests, which i always…

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