This is my third attempt, i am only here now after being pushed by the Queen Bee on receiving a second warning for being so lazy with this journal,i think perhaps it is one of those dainty vanity smilers that give you a good kicking in the clouds lost in the mind..;
Another reason i am here is that i am soaking, pre-cum is dribbling down my leg and soaking on to by ball sac after serving the queen bee who has given me a last drink at the saloon, contained within the world in being a good slave to her whims and wants..i thought long and hard during the blue funk on where my journey was going and why i need a strong women to serve..;
Sometimes it seams strange for my earth mother was, and i hated it,a teacher at primary school with white hair and big breasts that climbed mountains on to young foreheads had a scottish barb that had me hiding my thoughts under the table each school day yet here i am ousing pre-cum down my leg,taking on a journey of no bed fucking with out permission or any sexual touching for that matter whilst trying to serve this big breasted women with luv and devotion of which i have a rich desire that makes every waking day a new dawn.
My opiate for this Queen Bee grows the stricter the punishment the more my devotion i presume it is like pain always wanting more,always testing ways of bring the orgasm in the mind to higher levels..at this stage i can understand people who take drugs maybe the queen bee is my drug, my needs, a day with out seeing her scribbles is a cold turkey day down in the dark dungeons of the real world.
Maybe then i have at last found a reason this morning to continue just needing a short sharp shock to concentrate the mind, for who cares if no one reads this but my mistress i am here only to serve her in her wants and desires even though thousands of deep ocean separate us the urge to feel her wrath on my skin ballons out of control and at times each waking moment clicks among the humming wheels contained in time i bought a cat collar thinking yesterday this might work in showing my dark thoughts to the world and then there is Katee perhaps later she should speak also what a tangled web i weave i wonder where all these spiders come from,simply though i am glad they are here and at last i have found someone to serve who i feel with gladness rather than being stood in the corner with the thick hat on or hiding under tables back in th school yard..they have pulled down recently my old school which held the memories of the big scotch in her rich brogues and massive breasts maybe i will ask permission from the Queen Bee to steel one dark night across the gate and into some corner to hang my cock out and scribble about such feelings i wonder as i close this this morning am i on my own or is there a silent multitude out there scribbling away..