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Sunday 1st April 2007.

The sun is shinning through the window stretching over every slice of dust gathered as if companions around my plastic machine my first thought is gosh perhaps i should in a spiffy fit do some spring cleaning..;but i cannot help but think of Quintin Crisp and those few words i once read which are now scattered down amongst all dark corners in the back log of my mind,time has softened where and when i glanced..; however just the thought of Quintin Crisp is enough to keep the memory alive and so i shall leave the spring cleaning for another day.
Today is all fools day and maybe i am all fools who has fallen beneath the onslaught of robbers in suits,contented to only sigh at the increasing methods they find to draw the blind over my eyes and thoughts,each day more and more i feel as if i am back in the class room scolded or perhaps still wrapped up in female skirts waiting for the big dash into the brightness of the adult world as the propaganda once wheeled out in rhubarb buckets,has become a daily reality cannon fodder i cannot escape from.
As if i cannot possibly live without hearing the over view from those in suits." We are doing it for your safety" but if you do not agree then oh...we will find you sixty pounds of your hard earned cash,how many times have i heard it blurted out on the works wireless everyday every half hour enough to make me dribble at the thought of hurling the wireless in " lost in space".I wonder if i am the only one thinking like this or is that simply vanity on my part, or simply am i the only one who has not tuned out such drivel poured over the entire population.
I wonder what George Orwell would now make of England..;perhaps England is but a name only, so much from my early life has gone, more so for old George....i suspect

I saw an advert this morning a lesbian couple wanting a sperm donor..i thought i could wank for that pump my flesh watch the white foam spurt for it has been now thirty two days since i last watched my sperm rise up and flow from my own hand.The ride on the bus has been interesting i did wonder the last few days if such feelings to masturbate would dwindle for this past week it has been easy not to feel the urge rise up..i wonder if George Orwell masturbated it would be interesting to know how a great mind would treat such an urge and if he would have given into the rising sap.And would he have contemplated giving his sperm for a lesbian couple..;I soon shed such thoughts after all who would want the seed from a bisexual knowing i had passed on to such a tiny bit of skin would probably make me sigh,alas the vision of the planet in the coming fifty years made me shudder and my cock remained limp what women in her right mind would want children especially in England which certainly does not exist any more.The English voice is now shrinking i hardly hear it, i used to think a blank stare was rude now i know it is simply some Eastern European who has no grasp of English except when you shake your pocket to the sound of coins and i sigh because i did hope a cock would come out instead and i could get my lips around and drink...;
Life i guess yesterday i nearly had the urge to say something as the young tall full lunch box came to the door alas i could only sigh and giggle as i departed..indeed life.



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