April 15th, 2007

Sunday 15th April 2007.

Today the beast triffids have been hard to master,i feel surrounded by giant cocks,visions of them spurting huge waving armlets, dressed in spunk, drips amongst the froth of the day.I have had to resort to tying my ball sac tight to remind me of my journey towards the purple plump i hope to reach out to this coming November,it is certainly a learning curve to master the urge to masturbate.
Even whilst droning around in the sunlight the spunk bubbles have sailed over head did not some one sing " clouds in my coffee.." quite why that has sprung from my spunk filled mind is a vanishing thought, i have to contain for i could do with a rest in the front rank of the forlorn hope regiment, not worry about the sailing beasts in my head.However that would also mean a blue funk, i would rather not retreat there after reading how near the queen came to calling the last gasp.I think i should take a more relaxed outlook and not feel so down when the reach of a cock becomes so near and yet fades so quickly maybe i should just go ho-hum and hey maybe next time for i have at least tasted the hotness shoot into my mouth.

The sunshine was welcome today i sat in the garden for a short while between tasks and looked, felt my breasts, nipples, wishing they were bigger,but at least i have shaved them so my fem half is beginning to bite back and demand some space on this crowded journey,i have this coming Wednesday away from the anchor held through the works gates, i think even if only for a short while i must pull on some stockings feel that smooth pulse run through my body, perhaps some lipstick you never know some cock just might drift my way or perhaps i could sit down and scribble to a butterfly on the wing catching up with my dust filled back log.How long have i been a transvestite now ??,each day always brings a reminder in some small form i cannot pass a ladies dress shop without peering in,thinking urm..possibly..i remember in youth going out at night simply looking in the brightly lit shops at bra's on display by women who could neither talk or move the same picture painted on each face and how aroused i became..;the passing public attention was on the beast i was walking,therefore i could linger longer and watch the threads play tricks in the brightly lit tubes neatly hidden.
i wish i had kept the first pairs of knickers i ever bought and so hard was such a task the sweat running down my legs the stammer as i blushed handing over my pennies..i wonder what the girl thought as she wrapped them up...a red and a blue pair;the blue pair had tiny white hearts on,did she think i was buying for my girl friend was i even old enough to have on or did she have dark thoughts about masturbation...however the chill of my parents divorce only enabled me to climb out of the kitchen window and leave all such behind.And i have mushroomed since then into this really what is this..the anon post today to one of my scribbles was quite a shock and made me feel so warm as i smiled when the words sank in,if you ever get this far i must say thank you.....and good night....