November 3rd, 2010

Wednesday 3rd November 2010.

I sit in darkness,only the ticking clock,  is my companion, my mind is glad the days work is done, my body tells me i need a shower..the post brought me a package, so i sit here and contemplate the white space before me, the grand screen, sits even brighter in the darkness drawing my eyes, my left hand plays with something soft is it a comforter from childhood, a habit perhaps, my right hand waits for my mind to plod down signals to cover this blank white screen with words, this pulls my left hand as i am solely a two fingered tapper across these keys,though strange things do happen in the barmy darkness now and then perhaps in a blue moon as possibly i could press gang another couple of fingers to spread across these keys...
I am in a pondering mood, this always happens as my birthday approaches as i class this as the real year end, adding up the positives wincing at the negatives to conclude if this year has been a success and not a look back in anger in some melancholy madness, this particular year i have been delivering other peoples birthday cards for twenty-nine years...during which i have seen a great many joys and sorrows, reflecting here now the first snippet is off a Jewish mature lady whom one Christmas as the snow fell,the trees in ernest whispered, then shivered as the trees and i both sighed in unison as her stony voice retorted that she hated receiving christmas cards, i cannot remember if i said anything at all or simply felt the prickle of the standing holly tree close to her back door steps. For time seems so long since that year has past, i suspect she is now sitting on the right hand of God her house, pulled down only to be replaced by another monster house thank fully pleasing to the eye, built of imported Chinese sand coloured stone..perhaps there is a story there for the future as the house has yet to have a soul, quite why i have wandered from birthday cards to Christmas reflects the games my mind plays at this time of year.