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Friday 26th December 2008.

The darkness of the night still shrouds,my sleeping pattern has developed a delight of it's own,i sit here in the early hours of Boxing day morning,reflecting on the passing of one of the biggest days of the year.The ticking of clocks is the only sound,not even the rubber rush beyond the window has begun yet.
My reflections are rather mushy,was the big day over rated,is that because i am well down the mature path,perhaps the day did not linger long enough,most probably though to much drunk behind the cork if i am honest with myself.Each year i try refrain from pulling corks until after the Queens Speech,each year i fail,this particular year by a small margin..but a failure no less..am i bothered.
No...i am more bothered by the fact that all this mad rush through the month of December has ended in one day..all the piss and shite poured forth around a single day,a single meal should wash so far into my mind to play silly games.
The games come from past Christmas days in the form of snippets in time clogged together in sticky tangled spiders web fashion,then spun out through the day..i am not saddened by this,simply wonder how all the worst bits of past christmas days seam to hang heavy on the mind.On Christmas Eve i bought some new CD'S..to play whilst cooking the festive dinner to wonder if the music sailing around the house triggered off the worst spun..i bought a few best offs..Cuban Music...Joy Divison...REM....plus the new Dido..album all which could not possibly reflect on Christmas past...
In my madness..i once bought some sexy night wear,now this is over 30 years ago for a girl i was living with at the time whom shredded the garment with a knife before my eyes..since that time i have had some good laughable festive days down the years but this vision each year pulls it's party piece.
I was sat in a host of family around the festive table,when my fathers second wife launched an attack thinking i had some off-shore bank account..dear god..i thought back then if i had such an account..WTF....but this party piece reflects each year in it's dog leg antic's...
Even with all this floating around yesterday was still...good..quiet...except when i lost the plot for a few repeats of JOY Divisions... " Love will tear us apart " whilst playing with roast vegetables...
The traditional 3pm Queens speech was observed,i like to think it reminds me of those rose tinted childhood days when you think you lived in some cottage with the banging white gate....long summer days playing is straw barns and all those other bits and bobs protecting one from the adult world of dog eat dog.
For the second year running i have risen well before the demons have packed their tempest storms away, sneaking out to disrobe stand in the garden nude,this last no longer than perhaps one minute..the cold air wraps an angry clasp across this mature skin..for that minute i am neither a cocksucker,a transvestite or a driver of a tiny red van..maybe that is just an illusion of my own but perhaps.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Dec. 26th, 2008 05:03 pm (UTC)
there is only one you, and that is who you are supposed to be. i think you are just fine. wish we could meet someday, but alas, my globetrotting days are over. just going to the corner market makes me want to rush back to my cave. i predict you will have a wonderful year.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )



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