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Monday 2nd March 2009.

It takes five cuts to reach the heart...How many cuts to reach the soul...??...If you Had no blade how many words...perhaps two and a half hours worth and how many would that be coming from a female mouth...???
It took Three flights possibly 10,000 miles...a round road trip of 1,000 plus miles...I traveled for 4 days,starting on Monday..and arriving Thursday late afternoon...i stayed thur,fri,sat...during this time i was given the golden tour of the new brick house,a ride in the newish four wheeled drive,how much the swimming pool cost,and how much the filter system cost and oh yes...the aircon through out the house costed...I was treated to two lunches out away from this place.....$19.95....$18.95...were the prices i choose in mid range through the menu....I must have drunk..nine bottles of beer..lets say$4.00 a bottle...i would say three bottles of wine should i count all the glasses up...roughly$10.00 a bottle...lets say.

By Saturday night i was quite mellow,thinking i had made the dithering decision to travel during all the worlds troubles as worthwhile.And then as the plates were cleared..and oh sit a while you can talk, splendid i thought some more old stories to chuckle about....The male slipped away to play with the faeries and then the step-female started..well for one thing i know that i am already useless..so i thought i could wash myself with that no problem...!!...A new word on the block was placed on the table USER....How much would a hotel room have cost you..???...oh i thought...Number one son...??..OH i thought, remembering there were other bedrooms in the house for use and who gives a fuck about number one,remember i am useless so how can i count and i am sure i saw another hand go in the fridge..yes i am sure or was it simply the wine in my veins that night...It was endless in machine gun patter..i felt once more a small school boy caught sucking sweets or what ever else slips across the brain waves...

On the journey home within a few hours of that..and not paying the bill,just silently slipping away in the darkness of 5am thinking drat i forgot my famous blue rain coat...I now know why so many families shoot each other...i know that is not a home but a hotel.

The big bug..is why when i sent my e-mail with my intentions..did they not reply Hotel full...??
In my mind at this time..is when i arrive home in England..to put some pound notes in an envelope and simply scribble two words..Fuck off and should i sign off with useless user one thing they will know it is not a anon...


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 2nd, 2009 12:49 am (UTC)
has it dawned on you that it's not about you?

that you don't ever have to return now?

that you were useful (still a horrible world) but more importantly deserving of love before you got there...

and if they are incapable of giving it you don't have to go back anymore because yr not a small school boy.

and yes it's still fucked up.family is the dirtiest of all words and worlds
Mar. 2nd, 2009 04:52 am (UTC)
God damn them both to hell! They do not deserve you! My heart is aching, and my throat clogged with tears.selfish monsters! You are too good for the likes of toxic trolls like them! They are the useless use of breath and flesh, not you. I wish I had comfort to offer to make up for the hurt. Waste no more of your life and time on them, shake the dust from your shoes and walk on! Oxox
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )



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