bichoose (bichoose) wrote,

Wednesday 26th January 2011.

The blank screen is once more biting my i try to make sense of thoughts that have tumbled in the space box which holds my mind, as i have turned each corner of this crazy urban mix, i trawl through each working day...winter is not a good time to be doing such a trawl, the long winded season is such a scally-wag deflating jibes in jumbled boxed order,however i have passed the green lantern,pulled the pink bow and now slumber in this chair as the bold black letters begin to fill this screen with the word relax not simply in a song.
Today is a sort of anniversary..twenty years ago i set out to try and find myself, a task so far reaching i doubt if ever there will be a bend in life's road journey where i will find the babbling brook that speaks such a treasure that can gurgle in bubbles the word myself. I am one of those who chop and change, in every direction, have possibly filled a whole camel train with baggage along the way,or i would like to think so.
Today twenty years ago i stepped of a bus at Grand Central Station New York City, force marching myself in the dying of the day trying to arrive at the Youth hostel on 103rd street with my small ruck-sac and Teddy all in one piece in daylight. The day had been full of doubt,the gulf war still humming on the wind had people on edge,that unclaimed bag even for a few seconds at the airport,made you think bomb the look on each face who was stood within a yard told an immense story,i could feel the relief in waves when the bag was picked up by its owner. My mind laughed it was the only way my legs would move out into the bright lights and on to the city bound bus. An adventure was starting all my preconceptions of America came from cowboy films,Kojak...and The Big Sleep. Yet after twenty years the lone suitcase unexpected is as sharp as ever captured in the fear of the imagination on over drive during that time,as i sit here with this blank screen playing with a host of thoughts from that beginning of my journey in 1991... 


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